Exhausted, irritable and constantly feeling like crying - up to 50% of all new mothers experience the so-called "baby blues" in the first few days after giving birth. Suddenly, a feeling of sadness overshadows feelings of happiness and pride about the new baby. The baby blues are usually just a phase and disappear on their own after a few days.
Our psychologist Susa has summarized what you can do for yourself during the baby blues and when you should seek professional help.
Accept & normalize unpleasant feelings
Experiencing baby blues after giving birth is completely normal and natural. It can therefore help those affected to see the baby blues as something that is part of the birth. The birth of a baby and becoming a mother represents a milestone and a turning point in the mother's life. It is almost natural that emotions will run wild!
Instead of fighting against unpleasant feelings, it helps to accept them. Every feeling has its right to exist and often fulfills an important function. Feelings help us to understand what we are afraid of or what we are missing. Try to pause and listen to yourself: Feelings such as sadness and exhaustion can be a signal of what you need right now - for example, a short breather or a comforting hug.
Giving space to feelings and thoughts
Putting thoughts on paper can help you organize them or gain new perspectives. You can write down all your worries, fears and other unpleasant thoughts and feelings in a diary. Your diary is only read by you - here you can put into words what is bothering you, completely freely and without fear of judgment. Of course, you can also record the beautiful moments on paper. Reading and remembering such moments can give you strength when the baby blues have you in their grip.
If you don't feel like writing but would like to give space to your thoughts and feelings, you can of course turn to someone close to you with whom you feel comfortable opening up. This could be your partner, but perhaps also a dear neighbor who has recently become a parent themselves.
Ask for help & support
Society's expectations of moms are very high! In addition to worrying about the new baby, moms should also run the household and be open to the needs of those around them. And it's best to do all of this with a smile on their face! These internalized ideas of a "perfect mother" can build up an incredible amount of pressure and create feelings of guilt if moms feel they cannot live up to this image. In addition, it is both physically and mentally incredibly exhausting to take care of everything and feel responsible for everything (keyword: mental load!). So if you are struggling with baby blues and feel overwhelmed, hand over tasks and responsibilities to your partner or those around you. You are not alone! You can also ask for support and do not have to wait until help is offered.
Building positive activities
Baby blues, for example, is characterized by depression, feelings of worthlessness or exhaustion. This can lead to mothers withdrawing, which can make these feelings even worse. Therefore, it can help to consciously undertake positive activities. Pleasant activities have been proven to improve our mood. These can be small or large activities, with or without the baby. You can make a list of activities that you normally enjoy and then choose one or more activities per day. Our list can give you ideas for your personal list.
- Walk (with or without baby)
- Drinking coffee or tea with a loved one
- Extensive massage of your abdomen and legs (you can even do this yourself) with a postpartum massage oil
- Massage the jaw (there is often a lot of tension there!)
- Listen to music
- Cuddling with your baby/partner
Sleep & Relaxation
Lack of sleep is extremely hard on many parents. Lack of sleep has a major impact on the body and psyche: we react emotionally even to neutral stimuli because our brain can no longer distinguish between neutral and emotional information, our ability to concentrate suffers and depressive moods can also occur. Lack of sleep can therefore also encourage and intensify the baby blues. Talk to your partner or midwife about how you can get some sleep. Maybe you can arrange a power nap during the day or you can find other options together.
If you have trouble falling asleep during the day, a guided meditation or dream journey can give you a short break from everyday life.
Last but not least...
We humans are different. A tip that may be helpful for one mother may not make a difference for another. Our tips can provide ideas and suggestions - ultimately, you know best what is good for you and helps you deal with the baby blues! Remember: the baby blues are just a phase and usually go away on their own.
If you feel that your baby blues are not going away on their own and you may be developing postpartum depression, consult a medical or professional (e.g. gynecologist, midwife).
You can find information and help under these links:
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